we were watching saw 5 today and i thought of a movie idea although i don't know how good it will sound on paper. if we made a really vicious horror movie about a serial killer but within the movie there were really long pointless scenes like the serial killer waiting 15 minutes in line at starbucks to get a coffee, 3 minutes at a traffic light, 20 minutes for his pizza to get out of the oven, but other than that really intense action scenes.
another movie we could make this summer is the sequel to honey i shrunk the kids. its called honey i changed the kids into normal people. nothing has changed about anything but everyone in the movie acts likes its crazy that they are the way they are, and they smoke a shit load of pot
i would like to make a spin off of that owen wilson movie where he crashes in enemy territory and is going one on one with that sniper guy. in this movie a guy crashed his kite into his neighbors yard and his neighbor is a ex marine who is having war flash backs.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Good T-Shirt Idea
"Orono Spartans Football Training 2009: Hard doesn't mean easy, easy means easy. We train hard."
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I am Legend
I've figured it out and I am the Ichiro Suzuki of pot smoking. I can guarantee you a single but if i try to stretch it out to a double I'm out.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
good idea for bonding
get you and your boys all together once a year for a weekend until youre all dead. during this weekend pick a name out at random of the national yellowbook and drive to that guys house, wherever he is, and stake him out for a week. tap his phones, put cameras in, just watch him in his house for a weekend while you're all in a van smoking hash, drinking beer, and playing cards and just learning every single thing about this guy. and if you ever get caught by the cops just say "hey officer we're just a buncha guys doin' a stake-out". he'll understand.
HISTORY CHANNEL ANNOUNCES NEW SHOW!!
The History channel has just announced a brand new show premiering on MWF's during the 7:30 pm slot with The Future show, thus creating a paradox between channel name and show name that has warped the channels filming studios and the shows cast into the abyss of a black hole that will bring them to "some other dimension i dunno" according to a statement released by top scientists in the field. In other news another dimensions TV Guide has announced the beginning of filming of a new show called The Future show according to an AP Press Release.
nobody beats a dealin doug deal nobody
I think that there are three types of people in this world: people that believe in fate, people that dont believe in fate, and vampires.
I think that the earths crust should be replaced with some kind of three pronged, electrical wire operated, circuit board that way hey, we'll never have to search for power outlets.
If I were a flower I think I'd be a slut in the sense that'd i'd photosynthesize all the time. other flowers would be like "Whore!" and i'd be like "So what I do what i want bitchezzz!" Becuase there's just something about photosynthesizing that really gets me going.
If someone ever told me to "synergize!" i think I'd push their lover against a giant pole/stick in the ground and cut thier throat triggering some kind of william wallace reaction in them so that they would kill the shit out of me and lead a revolution of scotland while going down in history as an all around kick ass person....but my god did i piss them off in the process...and teach them never to tell people to "synergize!" again
I think I would have been one of the more popular people in China because my god can I eat the shit out of sesame chicken. And I like ping pong.
If you're your mother's sister than shit you're weird in a family tree image sense. Imagine that branch! It'd go straight out for a little bit and then just plumet down to the next!
If you put the family tree sideways it looks like the family line graph charts.
I think that coolest last name ever would be Da Hut especially after Star Wars was released.
I think that the earths crust should be replaced with some kind of three pronged, electrical wire operated, circuit board that way hey, we'll never have to search for power outlets.
If I were a flower I think I'd be a slut in the sense that'd i'd photosynthesize all the time. other flowers would be like "Whore!" and i'd be like "So what I do what i want bitchezzz!" Becuase there's just something about photosynthesizing that really gets me going.
If someone ever told me to "synergize!" i think I'd push their lover against a giant pole/stick in the ground and cut thier throat triggering some kind of william wallace reaction in them so that they would kill the shit out of me and lead a revolution of scotland while going down in history as an all around kick ass person....but my god did i piss them off in the process...and teach them never to tell people to "synergize!" again
I think I would have been one of the more popular people in China because my god can I eat the shit out of sesame chicken. And I like ping pong.
If you're your mother's sister than shit you're weird in a family tree image sense. Imagine that branch! It'd go straight out for a little bit and then just plumet down to the next!
If you put the family tree sideways it looks like the family line graph charts.
I think that coolest last name ever would be Da Hut especially after Star Wars was released.
deep thoughts
i think if there was one bone that you would not want to break it would have to be the weiner bone, unless you were a giraffe then you probably wouldn't want to break your neck
they say that when an indian would kill a buffaloe they would use every part, I wonder what they did with his weiner bone
i always believed that there was such a thing as a genuie in a bottle, thats why if i rub a bottle and nothing comes out i proceed to take a crap in it. if a genuie doesn't come out when you take a crap in his home hes never going to come out
if someone ever says something you think is stupid light him on fire and turn to everyone around you and say "that will teach him to think before he speaks"
they say that when an indian would kill a buffaloe they would use every part, I wonder what they did with his weiner bone
i always believed that there was such a thing as a genuie in a bottle, thats why if i rub a bottle and nothing comes out i proceed to take a crap in it. if a genuie doesn't come out when you take a crap in his home hes never going to come out
if someone ever says something you think is stupid light him on fire and turn to everyone around you and say "that will teach him to think before he speaks"
idea for our next documentary
for far to long our existance has been left up to the forces of nature. Natural disasters have killed millions--sunamis and tornadoes kill people and the things they build such as minature golf courses and lego castles. Weather thats too cold, or too hot, or too windy, or too muggy, or too sunny, or too frosty has left us (and our nipples) with no choice but to run into our little shelters only to look out our window and see a tidal wave about to come crashing our way. Now there is a group of brave citizens that hope to deal with these problems that have plagued mankind in a novel way. They will use the old art of martial arts to counterattack the forces of nature. They will track down tornadoes and run at them with karate kicks and yell things that the characters from mortal kombat and street fighter yell. They will fight the heat long into the night until it cools down and act like it was there fighting that caused the heat to go away. They will stand at beach shores dressed at nijas kicking the incoming waves for hours. and while they fight there battle they will also go door to door asking people to join there cause.
Monday, February 9, 2009
ESPN Announces new 4:30 a.m. show
ESPN has announced its brand new 4:30 am show with the launching of I Be Me Chris Bosh. A show about Chris Bosh being himself, hanging out with friends, shotting the j, and just lookin like an evil dwarf orc (CC).
Finding New Forms of Energy
What if we were to stick one of these contraptions a short distance up our butt so that when we farted it would spin the wheel thing and store the energy in the rod. At the end of each month we would pull it out and send it in to the government were they would extract the energy and power our cities and homes. that's brilliant that is
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
whats the deal with airlines these days
once upon a time in a magical jungle..........
star wars
dun dun duunnn dunnn dunnn duuuuun duuuun
bum bum bum booooom booooom bum bum bum
(stars faid out and the text runs down the screen)
Connor: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Peter Pan, old buddy, do you read me?
Peter Pan: Loud and clear, kid. What's up?
Connor: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings.
Peter Pan: There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. Sensors are placed. I'm going back.
Manny Ramirez (being manny): Right. I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won't take long.\\\
bleep bloop bleep
chubakaa and R2D2 approach : ararararraraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...bleep bloop R 2 D 2 bleeep
c3pO: oh what have i gotten myself into?
jaba: no la wookie echu jedi no me wanga chewbacca
star wars
dun dun duunnn dunnn dunnn duuuuun duuuun
bum bum bum booooom booooom bum bum bum
(stars faid out and the text runs down the screen)
Connor: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Peter Pan, old buddy, do you read me?
Peter Pan: Loud and clear, kid. What's up?
Connor: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings.
Peter Pan: There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. Sensors are placed. I'm going back.
Manny Ramirez (being manny): Right. I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won't take long.\\\
bleep bloop bleep
chubakaa and R2D2 approach : ararararraraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...bleep bloop R 2 D 2 bleeep
c3pO: oh what have i gotten myself into?
jaba: no la wookie echu jedi no me wanga chewbacca
we live upon, upon our day
hey what the deal with fruit roll ups?
there not even made of fruit
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hey what the deal with fruit loops
there not even made out of fruit
hahahahahahahhahaahahhaahhaahah
hey whats the deal with apple jacks
they not made of apples
(boom gun shot heard in the backround) dad that said it to his kid
kid had pulled out gun, shot him in the head (temple region)
kids buy plain ticket to brazil, gets to brazil doesnt think its quite like they say it is in the movies (the movie is jumanji)
remember the earnest movies. me neither. remember in jumanji when he gets mad at the kid and the kid grows a monkey tail (me neither)
there not even made of fruit
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hey what the deal with fruit loops
there not even made out of fruit
hahahahahahahhahaahahhaahhaahah
hey whats the deal with apple jacks
they not made of apples
(boom gun shot heard in the backround) dad that said it to his kid
kid had pulled out gun, shot him in the head (temple region)
kids buy plain ticket to brazil, gets to brazil doesnt think its quite like they say it is in the movies (the movie is jumanji)
remember the earnest movies. me neither. remember in jumanji when he gets mad at the kid and the kid grows a monkey tail (me neither)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Ball in the Butt
What is with the MATT Cassell deal?!?!what the fuck is going on? something is fishy here...very fishy..
That's a ...two point basket...by....THE PILOTS!!!
If i was a basketball ref and it was a blowout game and the clock was just winding down to like two seconds left and the player with the ball, on the team winning just running out the clock, picked up his dribble and gave the ball to me, fuck that, i would call him for a travel. most refs just let it slide and the horn blows but i would blow my whistle so loud theyd hear it in bumbfuck bamboozle. and the game would drag out a little bit longer and everyone would change channels cause the games basically done. and at this moment, when all crowd the leaving and no one was watching i'd flash my secret signals for the aliens to come pick me up and id leave this planet.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Running Commentary of the Sci Fi Movie Lake Dead
Well here we go folks. Great movie so far. Lots of action. 1 girl raped then beheaded, one guy hanged and scarred, one girl drowned and roped down in a lake, and one girl hostage likely to be raped and killed. all the work of the blood thirsty psychos. the cop of the town has taken into custody the lone three survivors..two girls, hot blonde sisters, and one guy.. the two girls inherited this property that the psychos had moved into. the cop is a pervert. he likes the girls blue eyes. is interrerogating them like jim brown. the funksobrotha. this cop might be evil. he looks like a suave steve young. only 75 years old. ooooo its a grandma with coffee. dont burn your tongues now children ;) says grannie. why a grandma is in the police station?only god knows. gotta go tell ben something.ben is a different officer. or maybe anoter evil guy. gravel sprays like wild fire. the coffee was a drug!!!!!oh shit sleepy time!!!! oh my goodness its exactly like the texas chainsaw massacare. just a messed up family!!but theyre taking the blondes into theyre fucked up families! WTFFFFF
Why let heartburn stop you well you can stop heartburn????!?!!?!?WHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!
Why would you ever not stop it? Why would you need a commercial to inform you of this information if heartburn is stopping you? What, like you just let it stop you and never questioned it?!?!?!?!You dumbass. You big jerk of a dumbass. Pete, YOU FRAUD!!!! YOU ARROGANT FRAUD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!
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