shitting your pants

not many of us will do it past a certain age, but if you do make that mistake and others find out about it your reputation is ruined instantly.  people sometimes ask if you could have one super power what would it be? i would say the ability to make anyone i wanted shit their pants at anytime.  imagine someone else has that power and your sitting in the middle of class or in a meeting and all of a sudden you just start shitting in your pants uncontrollably.  whats your reaction, what can you possibly say?  hopefully you don't say OH NO outloud..still got a shot at an escape...but then the smell, and you know some people will enthusiastically want to be the first to proclaim "he just shit himself"  i would use the power very discretely, only getting the blowhards of the world during there most self rightous moments.  the ultimate truth of all those celebrities, admired thinkers, powerful diplomats is that at the end of the day they have to sit down and take a shit like the rest of us...presumably after jesus was done talking about the kingdom of heaven he was squat down in a bush shitting his brains out from the filthy food they used to eat in those days...whenever people get to serious about life because of the words we use with each other that fill us with grand emotions, the fact that in order to just keep talking day to day we have to shove food in our mouth and shit and piss it out reveals the reality which is that we really are just animals at the end of the day.  the fact that we treat shitting and pissing as such a private matter, that mistakes during the process create almost the greatest shame one can feel, and that much of the profanity considered so taboo publically words deal with excrement also suggests that we are doing everything in our power to keep hush our animal place in the world.  the other side of it is that there is such a thing as potty humor, so even though we build about this wall to hide our trully animal behaviors we acknowledge how rediculous the entire thing is.  we set up life as pretty straight forward and purposeful, but its like humor is really anything that goes against this by being rediculous and making little sense.  blah blah blah end of blog