what what is day

what is day alreadeeeyyy. the sun dun come up and da day has begun. sooooonnnn. well dats what its sayin but i dont think its spraying the can of the spray is already out like when in the beginning of free willy the kids tried to sprayyyy those kids was soooo gayyyyyyy. free that god damn whale. why that whale seem so gayyyyy? is it becuase i hates the sea creatures or is it becuase the whale didnt be very good at swimmin in dat big water dat be aroud da land. hell yaaa dats probably wat it wasd. or maybe the whole situation is misunderstanding and were all in the matrix. dont take the blue pill. hahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha

The Meaning of Life, the universe, and Everything

What connects all of mankind? what is the answer to all the riddles? the ultimate philosophical viewpoint that all humans must hold dear to it all? while i am still not completely sure i do, however, know where the answer lyes: The Wild Wild West, a film starring Will Smith. Why? Because every human on the planet has seen it. It's a terrible movie and yet everyone has seen it or heard the Wild Wild West Will Smith song. it connects all humans on the planet. it is the fabric that holds our people quilt together. further investigation pending.

BARRRRRRAHHHHHH!

We were playing Tecmo Bowl II on the sega genesis and we stumbled upon an individual Barry Sanders. It was decided that the Barry Sanders character in the game was indeed the fastest molecular parasite/body in the entire galactical universe. We wondered if maybe aliens, hoping to invade earth and destroy all of mankind, had came to our planet, extraxcted evidence to see what kind of people they were up against, and had looked at tecmo super bowl II for the genesis and seen the barry sanders lifeform and decided to cancel their attacks due to the possibility of that organisms actual exsistence on earth. So the tecmo barry sanders had saved the earth. Possibly even more than once.

As.....

As i sip my beer all lonesome like i think two things: 1. damn im lonesome and alone and 2. the vast lonesomeness of the universe

the intergalactice leap between planets and galaxys and then i think my lienenkugel can not be that much different from life, existence, meaning and everything. I think about life and i think about all the different people and all there purposes: i think of my lionenkugel and think about how this is the beer im drinking besides all other beers. i think about existence and our relations to the gods and deities: i think about the way beer makes me feel or think and how with the more you consume the more your prone to thaaaaangs and how the more you beilieve in religion you believe in thants and i think about everything and i see my beer and i see everything, not in an alcoholics way but in the ways of the poet: i see the neck of the beer and i think about the neck and spinal cord of life: full of movement and shit and i say to my "whaaaat a wonderful world!!!!" and then i sit in bliss...oh yes.....oh yes. i don't care about what the other things say. things as in everything. im in bliss, oh yes, im in bliss and then i look up the star line and think of its force push on me and i think of the stars and i think of the suns and the planets and the blackholes and the supernovas i think hot damn i dont understand any of that. i dont understand anything. im just a little speck of dust floating in the winds of time. and i feel small, and insugnificant, and meaningless, and i learn to take everything lighter and with no cares. and it all falls into place. bloo blee blee sme sme sme what about smeeeeee? and hook gives me my hooks back

This man

this man im watching
oh from down below
can handle those chips
like a snow blower blows snow
oh the man im watching
can sort and stack
like lyndsay lohan
loves her crack
and ive never seen
chips sorted so great
as on this date

Why Gorditta?

When i tell you baja chalupa? what the fuck (wtf) is a gorditta?

I'm Out of Your backdoor into another

Roses are red the sky is blue, pats got the beer cans to my face what the fuck you gonna do?

I have a story about life: You have a friend, cheeba, he has a detachable skull that you can smoke herb out of, the herb makes you happy, but you have a moral dilemma...what to do with johns head? Is it better to smoke or to keep his skull attached? This blog is poetry in motion, ill apply coconut lotion. So back to the story. this friend of yours has a baby, unwanted. abort or not abort? pro life or choice? see this story has all the storys and problems of a great story. and then next up is this alien and its like blaaaaaaaaaaah with its spit and then theres this space marine like ka chahchahahchahchchahahcha with the machine gun and its like plehph sploosh sploosh sploosh with the acid blood. and then it goes TRUTH: my anti drug. and the fog clears and michael jackson comes out and goes THRIIIIIIIILLLEEERRRR!!!! and then cue in the proximty mines which blow up in exquisite fashion and spell out FUCK YOU and all the crowd empties out crying......now you tell me what the morale of that story is.

what the fuck is a gordita?

Gorditas; fact fiction? The gordita is actually the smallest species of sea turtle, exclusive to the cost of the West Galapagos. The trendy "Mexican" rip-off at Taco Bell is a tribute to this species' dwindling existence. Considering no one knows what the fuck either of them is, this dip makes connor happy. Fucking French Onion dip. The world's greeeatest. Grandma loves taco bell.

oh yeah 'ear me now

an excert from ernest hemingways latest novel (a collaberation with ralph waldo emerson)
"It be best, to be where we are at, in this latest time frame. if your sould can go to taco bell LET it. LET it get the baja burritos. and LET yourself rejoice in what is the BAJA burrito with NO tomatoes. for that is your soul and in all things your soul will accept what is best, it will be the best thing for you and the immortals. the sparta warriors, couldn't beat the immortals, their numbers are too many, their arrows will blot oout the sun. si si, wi wi. yes yes. so says the me, amen."

pg. 22 line 102 Abraham

rasheed wallace can you hear me?

RASHEED IF YOU CAN HEAR ME PLZZZ PLZZZ PLZZZ ORDOR ME A LARGE PEPPORONIE FROM PAPA JOHNS

dear diary

fuck you diary i will kill you in your sleep you motha fucka. your god damn pages of whiteness await my writing but i will murder your stupid binding before i lay my pen on your blank vagina

news for the baloogas

baloogas you are now an endangered species and we will hunt you until your blubbery fish bodies no longer float in the cold artic ocean. the eskamos used you for you blubber but we will use you only for your eyes which will sit upon our canes. the hunt begins now

Back Off

Of all the most frigtening stalker/creeper personas I think the least frightening is the potential killer wearing a flourescently colored scarf. Anyone in the mind set of wearing the neon colored neck garment is not as much of a threat as they initially presented. If you find yourself being hunted by such a person I recomend bringing up the subject of chai tea or whole foods and just kind of slipping off while you've got him distracted.

HEY

You don't call out a Randy Johnson fastball then throw it like a pussy. You throw it hard.

UPDATE!!!!!---red ALERT: changes on colony--

Attention vvvvvvt vvvvvvt vvvvvvvt avid readers of the gift of green update your magistrate

I am General Duke of the United Confederate Terran Forces and I am asking you, general, to lay down your forces and enter our command.

Jim Raynor: Well, partner, I just dont see that happening. All you confederants are dicks.

VVVVVVVT VVVVVVVVT: Beer and weed and video games....

Whats going on in the studio: we got nhl 09 on the way
mood: happy
status: 120/80 heartbeat normal
"MAAAAAAAAAM "says the medic "we've got a pulse!!!!come quick, hes stirring!!!"
"Welcome back chief" cortana says, "we've been missing you"
"Good to be back." says the master chief
DUN DUN DUN DA DA DA DUN DUN DUN

Incoming fax: bweeeep. online. enabled. top secret government file: The trip to the african jungle my the extremist cult, gift of green trees, was a project named big weed reconassaince 10010. The government attempted to get a spy in the Gift of Green Trees studios. It turned out the one spy was the member.........bweeeeep transmission ended. cut off. security back online


bweep


bweep


boop

all systems offline

do drugs and be self sufficient while living in the rain forest society will start

members sign up on this blog. you will be interviewed to see if you are not a serial killer or have some type of mental illness (mentally retarded people will be allowed to enter the tribe but will serve as our standing army). the tribe will basically be in the forest in indonesia somewere--we'll figure that out once we set sail for indonesia. the government of the tribe will be a two party system erbulicans and medicrats. there will be a system of checks and balances--can someone please bring some blank checks and balance scales for this we'll figure how this system is supposed to work when we get there. does anyone have any bread by the way because it would be nice to have some bread as back up food until we learn how to hunt. some bread and bolonga, yeaaaaaa that would be nice. mmmmmmmm bread, mmmmmmmmm bolonga. meet at the alantic ocean at noon tommorow.

The Green Tree Gift

Rule #1. You do not blow smoke in the room of the SMOKE CLUB.

Rule #2: You DO NOT blow smoke in the room of the SMOKE CLUB.

Rule #3: If someone says "no more weed for me", or goes frankenstein high, smokes another bowl the night has begun.

Rule #4: Only two guys to a bowl.

Rule #5: Pass the bowl on time.

Rule #6: Shirts, and whatever kind of footwear wanted.

Rule #6: Smoke sessions will go as long as are wanted.

Rule #7: If this is your first night at SMOKE CLUB, you HAVE to smoke.

rules for the blog

must keep every word to a minumum of 6 letters, any words larger than that will be too difficult for most of our users to understand. this rule will be enforced mon-thursday, while friday is seven letter TGIF, saturday is 8 letter saturday and sunday is 3 letters sunday.

i cant think of any other rules than that.

if you do not follow these rules you will be hunted down and beheaded. you have seven days