Hell - Coming Soon

Hell is novel coming soon involving various collections of writing pertaining to the Minnesota Vikings.

"...The Vikings are a curious kind of organization, curious in that their futility seems to know no bounds nor confine to any kind of statistical odds saying that someday, somehow, they will break free from the chains of over a half century of embarrassment, ridicule, and haplessness. From the accepted mediocrity of Leroy Hoard, to the blessedly handicapped hands of Troy Williamson, to the bat shit crazy Demetrius Underwood, to the love orgy in the Roman Baths of Lake Minnetonka, and finally onto the prosthetic penis of Onterrio Smith, the Vikings have never ceased to amaze friend and foe alike. Let us journey, together, through the tales and folklore surrounding this baneful club."

Introduction, Hell

"I know Mike Tice, he's a good guy. I sat down with him some time recently and he bought me dinner and I think we should give him control of all decisions pertaining to the organization: finances, scouting, offense, defense, special teams, concessions, ownership. Glen Mason is a close friend of mine too and with what he's done at the 'U' he should be sworn in as his right hand man in all those decisions."

Sid Hartman, Hell

"McNabb..three step drop...pocket is collapsing around him...steps into the pressure..eyes, mind, and body frantically trying to co-coordinate with one another...lobs the ball into the ground...4th and 5 Minnesota on thier own 8 as the punt unit comes on..Kluwe standing on his own goal line..Flags everywhere..false start will pin the Viking further back..half the distance to their own goal line.. Let's pause now for a moment for station identification, THIS, is Minnesota Vikings football on the FAN."

Paul Allen, Hell