an email to m knight shamalan

dear mr shaman,

I praise your work.  U have done well, and proven yourself as a filmmaker.  I trust you are a very busy man and find yourself stretched for time to come up with your breathtaking ideas and twists.  I was hoping to aid in these efforts and offer a few movie ideas I have come up with for you to use in your films.  The ideas are as follows:

1. you start with a farmer looking at his crops. "this can't be possible" he says. scan out and his entire crop is dying.  Across the country crops are dying everywhere.  We begin to have food shortages.  Nationwide there is a panic to find out what is going on.  Scientist find that changes in climate having rapidly changed the life and evolutionary progression of species of insects that thrive off of human crops.  Here you have the start to a futuristic hollywood blockbuster: Global Warming

2. you begin with a shot of an empty city, trash bags flowing in the wind. cut to a line, a giant line wrapping around the entire city, it spans for miles and off into the horizon. zoom in on a single man in that line -he's at the front. The camera is ahead of him - he's DJ Casper, artist behind the club anthem "Cha Cha Slide" and conqueror of Earth in an alternate reality. "This time...we're gonna get funky!" he screams out, "Everybody clap your hands!" CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA is the clapped reply of millions. They're planning an invasion of Earth...our Earth. 

3. you begin with two dragons. they are not relevent to the plot, but who doesn't want to see two big dragons breathing a neat amount of fire at the beginning of any movie.  you then show the country of Austria.  Some United States tourist made a comment that he couldn't find any kangaroos.  The Austrian pulls out a gun and kills the tourist, because he is sick of people thinking Austria is Australia.  Then the twist is the Austrian walks up to the United States tourist and sees he that the tourist was wearing a mask.  He pulls the mask off.  It is himself from the future and he is currently in the movie Loopers.

*Movie Title here*

Cast:

Keanu Reeves as Jimmy Neutron

Megan Fox as the Hot Girl (who almost gets naked but doesn't but a lot of people will come watch this movie just because the hot girl almost got naked)

Morgan Freeman as the Narrator

Jackie Chan as Lee Wang

Jar Jar Binks as Leonardo di Caprio

              Frank Thomas as Fred Mcgriff

Storyline:

The year is 2040.  Only one million people are left on planet Earth.  Lee Wang, Jimmy Neutron and the Hot Girl, as well as Fred McGriff and Leonardo di Caprio. They are getting 100% of their sustenance by drinking their own piss in a post apocalyptic world. Fred McGriff is senile and thinks he's Kirby Puckett. Leonardo di Caprio says "Is'a okey den, dah Gungans deh is mmmmh ANI! ANI!" while the Hot Girl flicks her bean. Lee Wang sneaks up behind Jimmy Neutron and snaps his tiny animated neck like a twig, "uuuuah" groans the boy genius as he dies. 

Details: 

Country: United Arab Emirates

Language: English, Spanish, Chinese

Release Date: November 22, 2012

Box Office: 

Projected revenue: $27.50

Company Credits:

Production Co: Ting Wingy Productions, Disney

Technical Specs:

Runtime: 44 minutes

Camera: A very nick camera

Did you know?

That Keanu Reeves said over 100 lines in this movie totaling over 500 words. This is the most he has spoken in any movie.

Reviews:

"Take me out me out for a cheap dinner and rape me in the mouth." - Dan Jenson, New York Times

"The plot is a tour de force.  The cast is a tour de france.  The special effects are as special as a boy with down syndrome.  Frank Thomas as Fredd Mcgriff thinking he was kirby puckett gives a performance of a lifetime (I really thought it was Fred Mcgriff)."  Randy Cendrick, Rolling Stones

The Blog- Three Years

Gentle people,

With this post I mark three years of activity on The Tingy Wingys blogger blog. Granted, the blog has been populated by posts less and less frequently over recent times. Yet, the blog is no less powerful, no less remarkable or important. I liken the blog to a storm and that storm to life itself. Life, like a storm, is filled with darkness, at times it can be menacing and unbearable with no foreseeable shining of the sun. It is in these moments, disoriented and hopeless, that a stroke of lightening bathes the atmosphere in light. Revealed to you are your surroundings and the essence of self, the beauty and connectivity of all things about you. That lightening is a creation, an attempt to connect the ephemeral with the eternal, a brief glimpse of that which is possible within all things. It is these moments that arise from a canvas of darkness that serve to illuminate us, to inspire us, to drive us. These are the posts we are about creating, we are that spark. Now get ready for the thunder.