Interesting Usages of Wikipedia Example: One

While watching lord of the rings the return of the king and thinking a little bit about harry potter I began to wonder why there are only two wizards in the lord of the rings. Are they the only two wizards in the history of middle earth? where the fuck do they come from? are they gods? so i googled something like "how many wizards are there in middle earth" and I went to the wikipedia page concerning wizards. That led me to the wikipedia page about Radagast who supposedly played a part in the books but who I dont remember at all. Radagast The Brown:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radagast_(Middle-earth)

Turns out his wizarding powers allowed him to communicate with animals and so he had an affinity with wild beasts and various fauna. He fucking loved chilling with animals so he lived near the mirkwood forest and experimented with herbs. He was also used by saruman to get the birds to be spies for him when he didnt know what was going on, and he was also responsible for saving gandalf from that tower with the eagle. But when it came time for everyone to man up and battle for it all he couldn't be found. his love of the wild had driven him out of contact and he took up the life of some kind of dark arts shaman committed to being one with his inner creature. Everyone was dyeing in front of the black gates fighting for everything and he was out bounding around like a goddamn deer. and he had crazy magic powers, the kind of powers that take at least 10,000 guys to the grave with you, seeing as how your an immortal demigod. He basically went on a shroom trip the weekend the fate of the world was decided even though he was a fucking sorcerer. Wikipedia goes on to say, however, that this "failure" would not bar him from returning to the Undying Lands.

You didn't know but thanks to wikipedia you now do.

New Hollywood Movie Plot

Picture this: A man in a house. The house contains two stories with a microwave in the eastern first floor side. This is a nice microwave. It is very efficient and works nicely. But picture this this man has a disease. He is obsessed with slaying zombies. Killing them in an apocalyptic world. The problem though it is actually the year 2010 so there are no actual zombies. Yet he thinks everyone is a zombie and proceeds to act like it. Stealing and killing everything. That is pretty much the movie.

In the year 2020

sports illustrated has a yearly future in which they ask "where are they now" and give updates as to what happened to sports names of the past. This current years issue takes a new slant on the theme and attempts to predict "where will they be"

Here is what we came up with:

Brad Childress: Brad Childress spent time in the NFL in various coaching positions. He spent years under Eagle's coach Andy Reid, serving as the teams offensive coordinator. The Minnesota Vikings took note when Reid removed Childress' play calling authority in response to a stifled and underperforming eagle's offense struggling in the playoffs. The Vikings offered childress the head coaching position the following year. The Vikings team had been improving and deepening an already talented roster and with Childress at the helm they won more than they lost. Without a marque QB to get the Vikings over the hump Childress devoted his energies to coaxing hall of famer Brett Farve out of retirement. Farve's first season with the queens was nothing short of spectacular, but ended in a crushing nfc championship defeat that to vikings fans is as sure as the daily rise of the sun. The following season was full of hope, but team underperformed and what followed was an outcry of hate from players and fans alike directed at the coach. He was fired following the season, and went to be fired from various other lower level coaching positions around the league. Childress is now focusing on the coaching his own children. Head of both his 8th grade and 6th grade son's teams this past year they had a combined record of 0-16. Many parents claim that Childress is out of touch and many expressed fear about his mental stability after enduring such constant hate and disapproval from almost everyone. Facing heat from other parents players he flew down and asked Brett Farve if his son Brett Jr. would play for his squad. Farve had security escort Childress from his ranch. Parents in the community viewed this behavior as worrisome and have since voted to ban him from further participation in any youth sports. Childress is currently unemployed and living at home. He spends much of his time playing Madden seasons on manager mode.

Jake Plummer: Jake "the snake" Plummer spend years dazzling Cardinal's fans with his quick feet and accurate passing. After going missing from the NFL scene for some years we tracked Plummer down in his Phoenix home. Before we could catch up with the quarterback, Plummer was killed during our photo shoot for this current issue by the boa constrictor he was posing with draped around his neck. Some expect Plummer to be reincarnated as a snake, but it is unclear if we will ever know for sure.

Ryan Leaf: As a highly touted college quarterback the sky seemed to be the limit for the young man as he was drafted second overall by the San Diego Chargers. His career plummeted immediately and somehow he proved to be so bad that he was out of the league for good by the end of the year. How could he have not been good enough to play as a back up or try to make a comeback in a league short on good quarterbacks only shows how wrong the scouts must have been--at least that is what everyone was saying. Then in 2013 Leaf appeared at Chargers training camp and to the surprise of everyone took Philip River's starting spot after a jaw dropping preseason. After throwing for four touchdowns and 400 yards in the season opener Leaf tested positive for steriods and HGH. Suspended from the league Leaf developed what some call rode roid rage and terrorized the california country side in a shooting spree in which his touted accuracy was realized in bullet form. Leaf was shot by police ending the spree. We speculate that he is now in the eternal fires of hell where the core of his being will be trapped in a state of endless suffering.

we can take off now...Ooo do you wanna...smooooke?

The blog is going to recommence it's regularly slated activity for a period because I can tell that the world has taken a few steps back in the last couple months since our last foray into solving all of the issues plaguing the globe. Today we have a very special report from a very special reporter of ours whose been compiling a piece that is on the pulitzer prize watch list. We'll also have a preview of a very important flip cup match coming up sometime next weekend somewhere in the country between some college students before some event at their university.