Timberwolves Offseason Report Pt II

Smith cocked his head toward Szcerbiak and motioned towards him with his hand, "Eh-o-du! Hol' up. This is the place."
The car came rolling to a stop outside of a quaint Spanish revival style home with a white stucco exterior and many lavish yet stylish curves and arches. A wonderfully flamboyant painted tile staircase cascaded down the edge and phallic-like chimneys rose above the harmonious structure. 
"Shit, dog, what pimp ass ornamental iron work" commented Szcerbs while kicking his roach by flicking it into the marble water fountain. 
The two approached the broad wrought iron door which was emblazoned with the face of Kevin Love. 
As if anticipating the way the game of life worked, always one step ahead, and seeing any available passing lanes, their host was already lounging behind the front door waiting for them. 


"Tell me boooyz" whistled Ricky Rubio as they entered. "Didn't bring my heart, my Love with you, did ya by chance?"
"Jesus, Ricky" grimaced Joe, "and for the last time, Kevin's not gay."
"But if he was, my boooyz" chortled Ricky, "Imagine the scenes in the locker room!"
"Well, none of us are gay, Rubez" replied Szcerbs. "So, I guess then it would just be you and Kevin."
"Oh what a fine idea, my delicious Szcerby snack." fancied Ricky.
"Listen, Ricky, let's get the fuck out of here - we're going to The Vu, mi amigo" said Smith.
"Ahhh, si! Por tranvestitos mis timberwolves?" asked Ricky.
"If there as gorgeous as I am" said Szcerbiak,"and then after, we'll grab a midnight Szcerb."
"Uhh, you can count me out on that one" said Joe Smith.

They all loaded into the Range Rover and tore into the Minneapolis night. Young, loaded as shit, incredibly good at putting an orange sphere into a nylon hoop, these demigods have it all. Little do they know, one of them won't make it out alive.

Stay tuned for Pt III   

Welcome, Saudi Arabia

Last month, we made it big in Saudi Arabia. The word was spread there about The Tingy Wingys Collective and was greeted with much rapture and concurrence of nodding. Saudi Arabia will answer the call - their thinkers are both avant-garde and wise in the ways science.

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PENGUIN MAN

Timberwolves Offseason Report

The smell lingered. It had emanated from his asshole, and the smell lingered. Wafts of curdled Indian spices splicing the air. You could feel it upon your cheeks, enveloping your body, your nostrils drinking it in. Wally cracked the window.

"Ooh, fack yaa" he exulted.

"Thanks, Szczerbs" replied Joe Smith, "That one's been roasting in the oven."

"D-lish" concurred Wally. 

Wally Szczerbiak and Joe Smith were cruising down 35W in an all black Range Rover, in the midst of an absolute marathon of drinking that had lasted the better part of 3 days.

 Szczerbiak was doing his best to follow the dotted lines while Smith was preparing a key bump, breaking down the eight ball of cocaine. 

"Bitch, we going to The Vu tonight!" exclaimed Smith.

"You got dat damn straight" murmured Szczerbs in agreement. "Those bitches be thirsting for a Szczerby snack."

The glare of the streetlights splashed across their tinted windows, merry makers abounded on the Minneapolis streets, the moon invigorated human flesh, night owls hooted hedonism. Wally took his eyes off of the road for a moment to readjust his coif. 

"That's fucking bitching" he thought to himself.

A Lark And A New Low

Pardon, and why are you here?

Nevertheless, I do commend you for coming this far.

Pray tell, how have you come this far...that is...what are you looking for?

<(. _ .)>

That?

I know a few people that would settle for that.

A hard lick on the guitar and a few crunchy beats. 

They see their name on a street sign or restaurant advertisement and shit themselves,

send a little thank you to God for discounted grocery prices.

We need a new definition of radical -

One that ignites the citizenry. 

Hello?

There's a war to be won! The Tingy Wingy Colony Voyage to depart soon!

We've been caught in the ethereal realms of the world wide web , perusing its naves and bowels, finding nice little niches to house our new thoughts. 

There's a monster playing in the scaffolding of our culture. 

The big surprise of 2014 so far is that we're still in low supply of adamantium, the indestructible metal alloy with which we could forge our spaceships and exoskeletons. 

I'm not Dr. Frankenstein but I'd say the monster has come to life. Tearing at the framework and digesting the zeitgeist. 

In the days of Michelangelo they liked to strip a man down to his waist, blindfold him and put him in a cage with a cat. Party goers would then watch the man kill the cat and tear it limb from limb. Now we have the Super Bowl on Sunday. 

Peak a boo I found you.

The blog has been found by me the asian man.  Crouching tiger hidden asian.  I find this blog while I eat my fried rice and I find it to be very nice.  All the way from the region of asia I stay and I search internet long and hard.  When I find this blog I tell all the villagers and when these read the good news of the tingy wingys they do rejoice and be glad and be glad.